Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i think i just lost a toe
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
