we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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