I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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