i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
