I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
