I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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