Soap is not a condiment
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
