MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
