You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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