Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
