I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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