Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
