i think i have two assholes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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