I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
please come you make the beer taste better
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
