I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
