I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
