Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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