@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
