Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
