I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Panties = found
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