and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
