One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
