I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
