i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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