please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
