If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
