I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
