im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
