Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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