jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
