i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
