Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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