The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can't turn off my feet"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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