Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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