I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
