I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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