You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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