I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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