just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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