New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize