Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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