with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
