If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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