are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
