don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
