I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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