You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
