I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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