im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
