By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
