I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
